Angry All The Time

Identifying Causes of Being Angry All the Time and Finding Peace

Why are you feeling angry all the time? Why do you feel uncomfortable with everything around you? It relates to how your brains handle stress and another thing called adrenal activation, a part of the neuroscience of anger.

In this post, Mental Map Guide gives you strategies for dealing with anger and finding a perfect way to control your emotions and get more patience and peace.

Why You Are Angry All The Time?

The important thing you need to know about angry emotion is that this feeling always happens for a reason. You become stressed, agitated, anger because of feeling threats, then your brain automatically turns on the defense button to protect yourself from the dangers around you.

These hazards may be short-lived but can also last a long time. And your brain has a system to respond to that emotion.

The autonomic nervous system is a factor in anger, it allows you to keep stressed for a longer period of time. You know, there are many things outside of our control, if something happens and you can control it in a good way, you become stressed. So, it’s your brain and body’s way of preparing you to deal with this threat.

But remember that anger is not actually something negative, it is part of our emotional range, and there’s nothing wrong with it.

Someone said, “The real challenge is to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, and at the right time”

For example, when your children make a big mistake, you can cleverly use anger to warn them instead of just smiling and reminding them to let it go.

If you use anger in a productive way, like when things go wrong, anger is there. What you need to do is control your anger and build a state of energy to push through it.

So, it’s actually valuable, and it’s connected to motivation and drive. When you direct your anger, you will behave well. For example, you can find ways to calm your anger instead of taking it out on others.

Of course, we can anger with a big problem because, as I said before, that actually empowers us. And we may feel a sense of agency, that we direct our anger for the right things and feel better.

Identifying Causes of Being Angry All the Time with Reaction Cycle Method

Basically, we have three stages in the reaction cycle:

  • Set-up
  • Interpretation
  • Escalation

In the set-up stage, there are some reasons that lead you to get angry. For example, lack of exercise, not sleeping well, eating unhealthy, and not taking care of yourself. Now, something happens: you read something, you hear something, somebody tells you something, and then you show that trigger based on your current circumstance.

In the interpretation stages, move from the set-up stage. This phase only takes a few seconds to react. So, what will you do at this stage? You tend to ask how dangerous this is. How big a threat is this? and after that, you start your reaction.

In the escalation phase, move from the interpretation stage. When you are in this stage, you begin saying to yourself, “This is terrible”, “this is bad.” “There is nothing I can do,” and you’re in a heightened state of reactivity.

The three stages are the premise to help you find the right direction to resolve your anger and escape the cycle of anger. And in each stage, there will be a simple tool to help you perform more effectively.

For example:

  • Mindfulness
  • Deep Breaths
  • Drink of water
  • Exercise
  • Gratitude
  • Drink a cup of coffee
  • Go for a walk
  • Smelling flower

5 Keys To Controlling Your Anger

1. Don’t be attached. Be okay with people disagreeing with your ideas

You know, one important key to staying cool in discussions is, you’re not getting too attached to your ideas. Let’s feel okay with the fact that everyone’s not going to see things the way you do. People usually have different experiences and perspectives, right? So, don’t take it personally when someone disagrees with your opinion. It’s not about your worth or intelligence; it’s just different viewpoints. You don’t need to try to please everyone. Just have a little chill, and it can help you stay open-minded. The cool part is you might even learn something new from the conversation. So, keep the non-attachment vibe – it’s like a secret tool for maintaining your cool in discussions.

2. Don’t take things personally. It’s not about you, it’s about them.

Another gem for holding your zen in check is not taking things personally. And be the reality that not everything revolves around you. Most of the time, it’s not about you at all – it’s about their stuff. People have their own baggage, right? So, if someone’s talking or acting up, it’s more a reflection of what’s happening in their world than a commentary on you. You wouldn’t want that complicated problem to stick to you, just shake it off. Keeping that in mind helps you solve situations without getting weighed down by someone else’s issues. Stay cool, and remember, if they are right, you are not necessarily wrong. If needed, you can solve it yourself otherwise, it’s their own business.

3. Learn when to let things go. Let go of needing things to go your way.

You’ve got to know when to give things the old things. Learning to let things go is the way to give yourself a feeling of peace and a fresh mind. Sometimes, we get all hung up on wanting things to go exactly our way. But, reality check: that’s not how life rolls. So, why don’t make it easier by giving up old things and things that do not belong to you? If it’s not a hill worth dying on, just let it slide. This life will be brighter and happier when you learn to accept and let the past go. And then, when you recover emotionally, you will not feel stressed or angry.

4. Be aware of what’s going on in your body.

Do you know how sometimes your body will get all tense or your heart starts racing? It’s a simple thing like a signal that something’s up. So, here’s the tip: hearing your body. Let’s say you’re in a meeting, and suddenly your shoulders feel tight – that’s your body saying, “Whoa, something’s stressing me out.” Now, let’s take a moment and be mindful of these signals. When you feel it, you can chill out a bit, such as by drinking some water. It’s like having a little superhero inside, helping you stay cool when things get hectic.

5. Learn how to say what’s really going on with you.

Do you ever get that feeling when you really want to say something but end up holding it to yourself? You’re afraid that speaking your mind will make them unhappy; you feel that if you say it, they will laugh at you, or the conversation will end. 

Learn to say what’s really on your mind. Let’s say you’re not feeling great about a situation—just share it. For instance, if you’re with a friend and the plan isn’t working for you, you could say, “Hey pro, I’m not really into this.” It’s like being straight-up without making a big deal.  Showing how you feel keeps things real and avoids unnecessary confusion. So, just keep it simple and let people know what’s up.

Final Thought

Ultimately, anger is instinct, but controlling anger is bravery. Remember that you have a choice, and you choose how you think, you act, how you feel, and what you are going to do.

Don’t forget to visit the Mental Map Guide’s blog for helpful knowledge and tips about mental health.